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If god created love, did he make it for everyone? |
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| Lifes a bitch, and here is mine. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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| Life Sucks Sometimes, Friendships Turn To Lies..... Check These Sites Out Heavy Metal News Cold Ill Nino (hed) Planet Earth All Music | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Nov. 20th, 2006 @ 09:21 pm Happy? (a new poem by me) | |||
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How am I:
Happy? numbBy. Joe Bahorski What my eyes want to show Is something we all know A place that we all go Somewhere that we are happy But the truth is it hides Puts away the true side They won’t show that I cried They only show me happy I won’t show that I'm sad Or even if I’m mad I just want what I had Just to be so happy I want just that one thing Something someone can bring Where there might be a ring Then maybe ill be happy I want to crack a smile To have it be worthwhile It’s worth the extra mile But I can’t just be happy When everyone just looks down Won’t notice I’m around Just sees me as I frown Because I’m not happy They wont see the real me It’s hard for them to see Who I’m trying to be And that’s someone happy So for now my eyes hide Just who I am inside With no one on my side It’s hard to be happy I am stuck in this place A never ending race I can’t keep up the pace So I can be happy My heart helps me lead A path till I am freed I need to break this creed But I am still unhappy I'm afraid that ill fail As I’m grasping the rail It’s just a terrible tale But I’m just not happy I need you in my life To help end this strife But I’m stuck with this knife It cuts away my happy I want someone to kiss To have that kind of bliss There is something I miss And that’s being happy | ||
| Jun. 27th, 2006 @ 10:14 pm Fuck This | |||
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| You were never there, when I was down Like when I needed someone, you were nowhere to be found I remember the sound of your heartbeat I remember how you found something good in me Now I remember how you started fucking with me You kept fronting on me, always trying to pull something with me Shit-this ain't no game to me This shit is life to me, and you ain't living right baby | ||
| May. 30th, 2006 @ 02:55 pm i love being right | |||
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| swangute: hi ill Nino 2480: hi swangute: how you doing swangute: saw you on Myspace ill Nino 2480: 5 bucks says you didnt swangute: CL? ill Nino 2480: no swangute: why 5 bucks? ill Nino 2480: well i could make it more but 5 bucks is good enough for me swangute: whats going on ill Nino 2480: nothing swangute: and where are you? ill Nino 2480: at home swangute: which is where? swangute: where do you think I got your IM then? ill Nino 2480: see, if you saw me on myspace you would knwo ill Nino 2480: plus this screen name isnt on my myspace swangute: then where'd I get it ill Nino 2480: i dont know, you tell me ill Nino 2480: then tell me, whats my name swangute: I don't remember, actually swangute: I have no idea then. swangute: whats your name? ASL? ill Nino 2480: so how would you like to send me the 5 dollars swangute: I'll give it to you in person ill Nino 2480: since you obviously didnt find me on myspace swangute: Maybe I did, I just can't backtrack swangute: where would I get it then. Think aboutit swangute: Where would I get it then? ill Nino 2480: then you would at least have some clue as to my asl swangute: jesey swangute: jersey ill Nino 2480: what about jersey swangute: I IMed you like 3 hours ago. ill Nino 2480: yeah swangute: I don't remember much, just thought I'd make a new friend ill Nino 2480: well if you saw me on myspace you would have some clue to my asl swangute: ASL? ill Nino 2480: why swangute: I'm curious ill Nino 2480: well you would at least know what gender i am right? swangute: No idea now ill Nino 2480: see, like i said you didnt get my screen name from myspace swangute: I'd guess you're a girl, but i can't back up anything ill Nino 2480: lol swangute: but Il nino sounds masculine ill Nino 2480: ill nino is a band swangute: I figured that out just nwo swangute: now swangute: You love that I'm in the dark, don't you:-) ill Nino 2480: wow swangute: How about helping me out. Give me a little clarity ill Nino 2480: why swangute: ok. don't ill Nino 2480: you still havent told me anything about you swangute: You havent asked swangute: I have? You're just making things difficult. I had already deleted you when you IMed. ill Nino 2480: when did i add you ill Nino 2480: i mean im you swangute: you didn't. I added you so I wouldn't forget it swangute: Thats why i don't know anythig about u ill Nino 2480: but i thought you saw me on myspace swangute: I did. Or I thought I did. Maybe it was just a mistake and you had an IM that I picked up by accident. swangute: Mena? ill Nino 2480: nope swangute: ok. no clue. swangute: I'm Seaver swangute: whats your name? ill Nino 2480: you should know, its in my myspace swangute: tel me then. i was just browsing ill Nino 2480: well then you would at least know something about me swangute: it ws 3 hours ago. If you reminded me then i'd remember swangute: but you're not forthcoming and I am not playing this game any longer ill Nino 2480: no you wouldnt, cause i dont have this screen name on my profile swangute: just wanted to chat and have a nice conversation ill Nino 2480: ha swangute: forget it now swangute: just more games.... | ||
| May. 22nd, 2006 @ 05:17 pm updated concert list and concerts that im going to be going to | |||
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| WHO WANTS TO GO TO ANY ONE OF THESE CONCERTS WITH ME!!!! JUNE 3RD - The Machine Shop 15$ --ILL NINO --GOD FORBID --SILENT CIVILIAN --BLEED THE SKY JUNE 10TH - Harpos 15$ --(HED) PLANET EARTH --WICKED WISDOM JUNE 15TH - Tnt's Bar and Grille 10$ --ALLELE JUNE 16TH - Harpos 15$ --DOPE --MANNTIS --A NEW REVOLUTION --MAKESHIFT ROMEO --BLEED THE SKY im going to all of these and want to go with other people so let me know, they are all going to be bad ass shows. -Red Hot Chili Peppers / Stone Temple Pilots / fishbone -Red Hot Chili peppers / queens of the stone age -Ozzfest 2002 - Ozzy / Rob Zombie / System of a down / POD / Drowning pool / Adema / Black Label Society / Down / Hatebreed / Meshuggah / Soil / Flaw / 3rd Strike / ill nino / Andrew W.K. / Otep -ozzfest 2003 - Ozzy / Korn / Marilyn Manson / Disturbed / Chevelle / The Datsuns / Cradle of Filth / Vovoid / hotwire / Shadows fall / twisted method / motograter / grade 8 / nothingface / killswitch engage / sworn enemy -ozzfest 2005 - Black Sabbath / iron maiden / in flames / shadows fall / mudvayne / black label society / rob zombie / killswitch engage / as i lay dying / a dozen furies / the haunted / arch enemy / the black dahlia murder / gizmachi / bury your dead / it dies today / soilwork / trivium / wicked wisdom -Kittie / Dope / A New Revolution -Soulfly / Ill Nino / Crisis -Kittie / Otep / crisis / level-c -kittie / 40 below summer / motograter -Summer Sanitaium - Metallica / limp bizkit / linkin park / deftones / mudvayne -Slipknot / Fear Factory / Chimaira / 40 Below Summer -Alice Cooper 2002 -Alice Cooper 2004 -Alice Cooper 2005 -Mushroomhead / Dope / Soil / Twisted Method / -Mushroomhead / Dope / Crossbreed -Ill nino / Spineshank / 40 Below Summer / Skrape -Dope / Motograter / Twisted Method -Nothingface / Crossbreed / Silent Civillian -(hed) p.e. / Dry Kill Logic / index case -Otep / American Head Charge / Candiria -40 below summer / slytherin -ill nino / Flaw / 40 below summer -mushroomhead / avenged sevenfold -motograter -eve 6 -uncle kracker -life of agony / flaw / apartment 26 -Korn / Puddle of mudd / Deadsy -Ted Nuggent -Rolling Stones / No Doubt -The verve Pipe -Dope -porcupine tree -Factory 81 -The night 89x stole christmas Adema / jimmy eat world / 311 / blink 182 -Disown -Devouring End | ||
| May. 22nd, 2006 @ 05:16 pm Fuck This | |||
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| I see god in my dreams and I can't stop running Don't care what I've become but fear what I am becoming Set me straight, I'm no angel Falling apart- She feels death from the table Waking asleep- I can't sleep yet I'm sleeping I'm slipping again and no hope's what I'm thinking I'm buried alive inside, so claustrophobic Nothing to say today- afraid and we know it What do I know, I know that we know nothing I feel like I'm constantly waiting for something What am I waiting for, what am I trying to do? I'm trying to prove that it's all a lie- Can't get enough and I'm already there I'm already there and I still can't get enough So just deny what you can't repair Between the lie, read between your lie Can't get enough and I'm already there I'm already there and I still can't get enough Run as far as you can because nobody cares Between the lie, read between your lie I got a little secret that I keep inside Deep down dormant in the dark she hides But every time that I close my eyes I can feel it, I can feel her die Maybe I'm jaded too, Maybe I'm dead like you, Maybe I'm obsolete, Maybe I'm incomplete, Maybe insanity blinded by prophecy, Maybe the opposite, Maybe I'm right Maybe a victim, maybe your not When did you start to care about what I thought? What would you do for me, who will you be for me, What about family, who would you kill for me? Ammunition for a prophets gun All that's become must unbecome All that's sacred, all that's true, All that's nothing- Lies in you Madness, insanity- Why do you stare through me? Finish the rest of me See what you wanna see Say what your gonna say Give and then take away Waiting for guilt to try and read between your lie All that's nothing lies in you- Even if you're forgiven, would you forgive yourself? Read between your lie | ||
| May. 14th, 2006 @ 10:11 pm Fuck This | |||
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| im done with school and now i have nothing to do, you people best be calling me to do stuff cause i dont know what to do. oh and just a repost WHO WANTS TO GO TO ANY ONE OF THESE CONCERTS WITH ME!!!! JUNE 3RD --ILL NINO --GOD FORBID --SILENT CIVILIAN --BLEED THE SKY JUNE 10TH --(HED) PLANET EARTH --WICKED WISDOM JUNE 16TH --DOPE --A NEW REVOLUTION --MAKESHIFT ROMEO --BLEED THE SKY im going to all of these and want to go with other people so let me know, they are all going to be bad ass shows. | ||
| May. 5th, 2006 @ 01:45 am Fuck This | |||
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| WHO WANTS TO GO TO ANY ONE OF THESE CONCERTS WITH ME!!!! JUNE 3RD --ILL NINO --GOD FORBID --SILENT CIVILIAN --BLEED THE SKY JUNE 10TH --(HED) PLANET EARTH --WICKED WISDOM JUNE 16TH --DOPE --A NEW REVOLUTION --MAKESHIFT ROMEO --BLEED THE SKY im going to all of these and want to go with other people so let me know, they are all going to be bad ass shows. | ||
| Apr. 30th, 2006 @ 10:56 pm dont you just love... | |||
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How am I:
when none of your friends give 2 shits about you. lonelyi know i dont, except for the people decided to come over to my place on friday. i wish i knew what i had to do to make people realize that i have feelings to. "life sucks, sometimes friendships turn to hell" -taproot yeah i hate hearing all these people complaining about not having anything to do for the night when every night they are out hanging with people, going to the movies, going to parties, going to places with people just to have a good time. yeah, to be honest i dont give a shit about you and your one night of boredom. how many times have you gone to the movies alone, how many times have you gone to concerts alone, how many times have you tried to get people together and do something only to find out that people have already made plans or have no money or dont feel like doing stuff. how many times have you invited people over to your place only to find out that no one wants to come. how many times have you waited around to do something with someone and have them cancel on you cause they found something better than you. how many times have you tried to set something up to have people tell you to do something else cause it seems like more fun. ... tell me, i seriously want to know. i know that i have been to see more movies alone than i have with other people. i know im constantly going to concerts alone. i know that when i try to get a group of people together more than half either cancel or bail on me. do you know how many times i was invited to in high school.... zero. do you know how that made me feel, to go into school and have all your "friends" talk about how much fun they had at the party. then i get to college thinking that everything will be different, thinking i am gonna make new friends and start over. WRONG. i still dont get invited to do shit, i make new friends... and they all hang out and never invite me to do shit. everyone tells me just go out and make new friends. yeah thats easy for people to say since they already have friends that want to hang out with them. im just getting sick of it. i want a life i can have fun with. i want to have a good time. i want people to call me to hang out once in a while. im sick of always being not second best, not even 3rd best, but someone that doesnt even rank on their friend scale. i just want to be invited to do shit. i just want people to like me. when will this ever fucking happen. at one time i thought of something that most people frown apon, it drove me to a point where i couldnt stand this life anymore. but one week on my closeup trip made me realize that something could change, i could have friends. the trip made everyone just be great friends, no one cared about nothing except having fun, for once i fit in. i just wanted that for my life. so i decided against it. but after 4 years of the same old shit im beginning to wonder if it will ever change. i just want a change but all my efforts are for nothing. people always wonder why im always upset and telling me to not be emo or not be sad or cheer up and go do something. yeah your not helping, instead of saying that shit invite me to do something. invite me to just hang out, even if its for an hour. i dont care. im just sick of trying to make plans and none of them ever coming together. well enough of my bitching about my life, im sure all of you have better stuff to do like hang out with friends and go places. ill just sit here as usual cause im the last person you feel like hanging out with. joe | ||
| Apr. 28th, 2006 @ 09:58 pm Fuck This | |||
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How am I:
Wish I was too dead to cry disappointedMy self-affliction fades Stones to throw at my creator Masochists to which I cater You don't need to bother; I don't need to be I'll keep slipping farther But once I hold on, I won't let go 'til it bleeds Wish I was too dead to care If indeed I cared at all Never had a voice to protest So you fed me shit to digest I wish I had a reason; my flaws are open season For this, I gave up trying One good turn deserves my dying You don't need to bother; I don't need to be I'll keep slipping farther But once I hold on, I won't let go 'til it bleeds Wish I'd died instead of lived A zombie hides my face Shell forgotten with its memories Diaries left with cryptic entries And you don't need to bother; I don't need to be I'll keep slipping farther But once I hold on, I won't let go 'til it bleeds You don't need to bother; I don't need to be I'll keep slipping farther But once I hold on: I'll never live down my deceit | ||
| Apr. 28th, 2006 @ 09:25 pm Fuck This | |||
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| im sick of all your bullshit im sick of all your lies im sick of broken promises im sick of all those times that you abandoned me forgotten me ignored me and never thought to help me | ||